“I own no other Master,

My heart shall be Thy throne”

To put God on the throne, to let Him take full control, believing in the purpose He has for me. Easily conveyed in theory really, practically, its another thing.

I often mention that I never knew why I picked ACS(I) as my first choice during PAE, why I impulsively chose this school, instead of my original intended school of ACJC. It could be that I am fickle, and months before that, had intended to go to SAJC. But it surely wasn’t peer pressure, since evidently, there was no peer to follow, just me. The syllabus perhaps? The idea of a brand new environment, God-forbid an essentially male-dominated school, with the exciting-sounding International Baccalaureate Programme (woe, I have no idea how to spell that till this very day), and of course the Christian-environment of course all came into play in choosing the school, with my mum nagging at the back of me.

ACJC. ACS(I). RJC?

So what did make me ultimately take this plunge? Perhaps, it could be attributed to be all part of God’s plan. But that still sounds pretty broad and vague, does it not? I do think there was also the issue that I hadn’t like Meranda, applied for the Humanities Scholarship we both had been discussing about a great deal (many hiccups along the way). So finally, a few clicks of the mouse, and there, my fate was sealed in that savvy way of choosing my school. I knew I would, under all circumstances end up in ACS(I), and there and then, I had that deep regret, feeling like I had done something so stupid. A few days after, I ventured outwards, trying to figure the best path to my oh-so-faraway school. On the way back, I didn’t stop regretting my choice. Memories of me rattling of about appealing out of the school and the potential subjects I would take in other JCs still ring fresh in my mind. Regrets. Why regret? Loneliness. Fear. Uncertainty.

Ultimately, the day came. With myself armed to face anything that would come along my way as I entered this brand new, alien world, I attended my first prayer meeting at the balcony of the new block, along with my church seniors. At least, I knew somebody there. Still, I felt strange, alienated, out-of-place. And then came the time, I had to be left alone, alone to fend for myself, amongst the new bunch of year 5s, alongside the majority of ACS-ians who had already been around for at least 4 years, alongside the other girls who mostly came in their school-clique.

I was, alone.

Orientation.

Bridging courses.

Classes.

FireAC.

OutHomeward bound adventures.

Choir.

ODAC.

So many things happened, so quickly, pushing me along as the workload increased, and other issues came into play. Schoolife became a routine, I stopped thinking about my purpose of being in the school in the first place.

Yet, thinking back, what made me stay? What made me regret in the first place? And why, of all places and schools, had God placed me here? A christian environment surely, the privilege of having FireAC, to keep me accountable to God, to start it right and well with my Father in heaven.

Purpose? Clearly God-given.

I suppose, tuition work is too. To show Christ’s love. The royal rule, to love thy neighbours as thyself. Trials breed character, patience. Mould me O Lord?