Honestly, fractals are giving me a huge headache. Nice series of diminished repetitions of the same shape. I have no idea. REPEAT WHAT. The shape is pretty, I know, David’s Star, and albeit, the sense of accomplishment is overwhelming too. But, HEADACHE.

Anyhow, the after effects of coffee highness preventing a good night’s sleep before Monday blues are all encompassingly BAD. Having had less than 3 hours of sleep, disturbed hours nonetheless, the day had a good timetable actually. All seemed well, if not better than expected, with that hour-long recess that seemed so long (not a bad thing actually).

The strangling of me thanks to my politeness in responding to desmond yap’s wave one floor up is just, not right. Math file due tomorrow? That, is serious disaster in the making. My math stuff happen to be unfortunately all over the place, in the locker, under the table, all over my house, lost, gone, just not presently available for immediate filing.

And the 101-th reason why you should not get too engrossed in your game of quadrapop on your handphone when you’re alone? You end up missing 166, get random people walking up to you and disappearing on 33, and you getting on 74 alone, forgetting that its a 74, getting too engrossed once again in quadrapop, end up missing the stop and getting chased off by the bus driver at the end of the stop, feel utterly disgusted with your own stupidity, retardedness and sheer brainlessness, you take the 74 back to the MRT station, miss the overhead bridge, walk back and knock klutzily into the pillar, cannot stop muttering “stupid loser” to yourself, finally get on the MRT, start getting all irritable and emo, nearly fall over, get off once again and step on someone’s foot, get on the MRT again, finally settling down on the MRT seat again, and all you can think of is, “LOSER”, and start playing quadrapop all over again. And just when you think nothing worse is going to happen, you reach home safe and sound, or so you think, and trip over the stool at home. Then, reaching for a fork, you poke your fingers right into the fork instead. “OUCH!” you go, and suddenly, you feel so much like crying and running off in sheer exasperation. You think, “what a conceited human being I am, constrained by my own narrow perception of things”, indulge yourself in work, the math portfolio you cannot stop doing, feel exceedingly intrigued by the large numbers you encounter and that the calculator cannot provide a nice fraction for. You. Just. Feel. Like. Screaming. So. Bad.

You sincerely wish people would think before they speak, act or just do anything. People, with the likes of Leon, who start roaring like an animal (I exaggerate not), both inside and outside class for reasons such as having cards confiscated and realising that the math file is due the very next day. People, who seem never quite able to be sensitive enough to realise how far they are going, how utterly hurting they can be. People, who are dense and thick. People, who may not truly exist around you, but still, exist. Things, you wish were never said, or even thought, yet uttered thoughtlessly. Things, you wish were never done, yet done carelessly. Things, you wish you knew. Things, you wish you had more courage to do. You realise, with all brokeness within, that you are a mere human. You realise, that despite the day being able to go downhill just like a log curve (hmm?), that it is ultimately, in God’s mighty Hands. You realise, that in your weakness, God’s strength is made perfect. You realise that in trials, God’s grace is experienced fullfold. You realise that everything happens for a purpose, in His divine will. You realise that when you question why, you question God’s sovereignty and His power and might to mould you into His likeness. You realise, you need to fully surrender, and depend on Him.

Your grace is sufficient for me
Your strength is made perfect when I am weak
All that I have now, I lay at your feet
Your grace is sufficient for me