45 days till POP! Seriously.

***

The weekend is fast coming to an end. I don’t think I’ve really seen it spent the way I would have wished it could be. Everywhere, the NSFs flood the streets. It gets a bit comical…but I digress. My heart is heavy, and I don’t know entirely why. CNY is coming, it’s tomorrow, actually. Dinner is soon to be, as well. I don’t think I ever felt extremely excited about the whole idea of CNY, but it just, happens.

About the issue at hand discussed over ice cream and food, it seems extremely familiar, similar to the issue faced in choir. Long-term segregation and firmly formed cliques form problems not easily solved. In any case, one step at a time, come what may, really.

I’m tired, really tired. It isn’t really just a physical lethargy, but in other aspects as well. I shall really have to keep close to my resolutions, and seek God for His grace and guidance. Chris’ account of the God-sent SMU BUSINESS struck me a great deal. I never had such, faith in God to show me so clearly the way to go in my life. I pray about it, but it never comes across so directly in my life. There are still too many matters I can’t handle in a decent manner, and most of the time, I choose to gloss pass them and forget about them till they rear their ugly heads again. Which really isn’t a good thing.

It all feels unreal.

This I must learn, the reality of “surrendering it all to God”, to really be satisfied and contented with what I have, and to learn to truly love. What does that all mean?

I don’t think I ever expected it all to feel this way.