3 days to end of course!

***

I was innocently sending messages to my friends for dinner dates, when my phone, lousy as ever, decided to shut itself down and restart several annoying times. When it finally came back on, three messages sprung up, two of which stated two missed calls from a certain unknown number. Fumbling through the call back list, I found this number in the list. I dialled back many times but received no answer. Finally, an answer came through the phone.

BLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAH.

Congratulations! You have received the HDB Undergraduate Scholarship to UK!!!! Are you happy?

***

State of shock and disbelief.

***

UCAS applications already withdrawn. NUS award and offer accepted. Orientation camps in the midst of deciding.

Confusion, fumbling, pacing, jumping up and down, sitting unstably on the bed, waiting for the speed post, pacing more.

***

And after all the excitement, UCAS applications reinstated, Durham offer confirmed, decision making time.

Just when I told everyone I was staying in NUS. Just when I told myself there was no more hope of going overseas for now. Just when I told myself not to look back anymore at the what-ifs. Just when I set my heart to working hard for the NUS degree. Just when.

***

I’m definitely enticed by the scholarship offer, no doubts about it. Beyond the supposed prestige, cash, and overseas experience, there’s the bond, there’s the new place I must settle down in, there’s the whole SEPARATION I would have to go through, and there’s the whole prospect of being a HDB scholar.

I don’t know why this offer had to come so late, after all the NUS deal has been settled with. I don’t know what I should do now. It’s almost insane to reject it, because I worked hard for it, no doubt.

What comes after 3-4 years of study, 6 years of bond? Would I really be suitable as a HDB scholar? What did they see in me?

6 days or less for decisions to be made. AH.